


Silent Night

by destimushi



Series: We Fell In Love Dancing Kizomba [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stress Baking, canon typical first responder call, distressed buck, dom/sub biology, midnight dancing, small amounts of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destimushi/pseuds/destimushi
Summary: Christmas Eve is a hard night for first responders, but when Eddie gets home and finds Buck nearly non-responsive with grief, he does the only thing he can to bring his Submissive and lover back to him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: We Fell In Love Dancing Kizomba [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040162
Comments: 12
Kudos: 131
Collections: 25 (More) Days Of Buddie





	Silent Night

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 of the I'm Your Buddie Discord server Christmas Advent! When I saw the "Dancing at Midnight" prompt I knew I had to have it doubling as a little time stamp for Kizomba. It's been so long since I've visited these boys, I hope this tiny glimpse into their lives after brings you as much joy as it did me! 
> 
> Beta'd by my wonderful friend [JhanaMay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JhanaMay/pseuds/JhanaMay). If you're into SPN or MCU (and a slew of other fandoms) go check her out! She's phenomenal!

The minute Eddie walks through the front door, he knows something’s wrong. 

The wrongness creeps around him like a dark shroud. The hair on the back of his neck stands up, and the buzzing under his skin—a constant reminder that he hasn’t gone into domspace in way too long—intensifies until his blood is vibrating. He kicks off his work boots, oblivious to the splatter of mud as they clunk to the floor, and rushes down the hall and into the kitchen, his feet flying on both the need to know what’s wrong and his need to see Buck.

Carla’s head snaps up from her book as Eddie rounds the corner into the kitchen, and her expression melts into relief as her eyes land on him. The relief is short-lived as her gaze snaps to the source of all that wrongness coursing through Eddie, and Eddie’s stomach drops. 

Buck, unaware of Eddie’s arrival, is wrestling his knife through a large chunk of chocolate. Shavings of it fly in every direction as the knife thuds into the wood chopping board again and again, the sound as anguished as Buck looks. Eddie glances at the clock on the microwave and frowns. Why is Buck hacking at a brick of chocolate at half-past midnight? 

He takes a step toward Buck, but a shake of Carla’s head freezes him in his tracks. She tilts her head toward the hall then pushes to her feet with a groan. Eddie follows her back to the small foyer, his stomach clenching so hard he wants to throw up. 

“Carla, what’s going on?” he asks as soon as she turns to look at him. 

She sighs and shakes her head, her black curls bouncing in time. “He got home all wound up like a toy soldier ready to hop off a cliff.”

“From work?”

“I reckon so.” She sighs and glances over her shoulder. “I’m glad Christopher was already in bed so he didn’t have to see the mess Buck was when he got home.”

Eddie inhales sharply, alarmed. “Wait, he was worse when he got home?”

“Boy was like a bomb ready to go off. I tried talking to him, but he just shut down and headed straight for the kitchen,” she says, her soft voice laced with concern. “I wonder what happened at work that’s got him so upset?”

The closer they get to the holidays, the crazier people become, especially on Christmas Eve. Eddie’s seen his share of fucked-up the night before Christmas, but whatever Buck went through must have been devastating. 

“Fuck, Carla, what do I do?” 

She cocks an eyebrow and tilts her head to the side, her piercing eyes locked on his. “You’re his Dominant.”

“I know, but—fuck.” Eddie rakes shaky fingers through his hair. Between his and Buck’s insane holiday schedules, they haven’t seen each other in over two weeks. Sure, there were phone calls and text messages and stolen kisses here and there as they passed like two ships in the night, but Eddie hasn’t gotten his hands on Buck in quite some time. 

Carla touches his arm, her fingers gentle but firm, and Eddie finds strength in the warmth of her skin seeping through his shirt. “Go look after your Submissive, Eddie.” She squeezes his arm, and that affirmation is all Eddie needed to find his balance. 

He’s Buck’s Dominant; if he can’t bring Buck back, then who can? 

Bolstered by Carla’s confidence in him, Eddie covers her hand with his and gives her fingers a returning squeeze. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him until I got back.” 

She tsks and rolls her eyes even as the corners of her lips twitch up into a smile. “Of course. I take care of my boys. Now, I’m going to bed because we all know Christopher will be up at the butt crack of dawn on Christmas morning, and I ain’t no spring chicken no more.” 

Eddie pulls her into a quick hug, then pulls back and looks her dead in the eyes. “Nah. You don’t look a day over twenty-one to me.” 

She laughs, the sound throaty and rich, and slaps his arm. “Merry Christmas, Eddie.” 

“Merry Christmas.” 

Eddie watches until Carla rounds the hall and walks upstairs before taking a few calming, deep breaths. When he heads back down the hall and reemerges into the kitchen, Buck is grating butter into an enormous metal bowl. He still doesn’t look up, so engrossed in his mad baking frenzy that Eddie worries about scaring Buck if he so much as breathes too hard. 

Buck’s wide shoulders are tense, the muscles of his arms shifting and twitching as he jams the butter across the grater. His face is pinched in concentration, but the blue of his eyes is dull as plastic as he stares into the bowl. His entire body is coiled tight, and the sight of him all wound up sets Eddie’s blood boiling. 

If Eddie’s ready to claw his skin off from the lack of intimacy with Buck, he can’t imagine how Buck must be coping with not going under for so long. No wonder he’s stress baking. It’s the only thing that soothes the ever-present itch that plagues all Subs when they haven’t gone into subspace for too long. 

Eddie’s gut twists with guilt. It’s his job to look after Buck. To give Buck the relief he needs from his biology so he can function at work. It doesn’t matter that work’s been insane lately; he still shouldn’t have neglected his duties.

With a silent curse, Eddie pads into the kitchen on silent feet and slips his arms around Buck’s waist from behind. Buck drops the grater with a clang, the butter held in midair as his entire body freezes from the contact. Eddie presses his lips to the back of Buck’s neck above the thin leather day collar and swallows his pained wince when Buck flinches. 

“Hey,” Eddie murmurs. “Missed you.” 

Buck’s quiet save for his ragged breathing. He doesn’t respond, doesn’t move, doesn’t turn around to look at Eddie, and Eddie tries to ignore the mounting fear building inside him as he loosens his grip around Buck’s thick waist. 

“Talk to me,  _ cariño? _ ” Eddie prods gently.

Still no response except for a tick in Buck’s jaw, and Eddie’s stomach drops as fresh fear washes over him like a bucket of ice water. 

Worried and trying not to panic, Eddie grips Buck’s shoulder and turns him around gently. Buck resists for a moment, then pivots on wooden legs until he’s facing Eddie. He stares at Eddie with dead eyes, his expression frozen in a mix of anguish, fear, and regret. He’s still holding that half grated stick of butter, and Eddie pries the melting brick away then wipes the fat from Buck’s trembling fingers with a kitchen towel. 

“I’m so sorry,” Eddie murmurs into the space between them as he wipes each finger carefully, his eyes glued to Buck’s hands. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. That I couldn’t help you, or shield you from whatever upset you. I’m so sorry I haven’t been around, and I’m sorry that—”

Strong arms wrap around Eddie, and the force of Buck’s embrace cuts Eddie off with a whoosh of air. Eddie’s momentarily stunned, but he recovers quickly and slips his arms under Buck’s and around his torso, holding onto him like a lifeline. 

Buck’s still quiet, his breathing erratic and shallow, and his large body trembles as if it’s holding more secrets than it can handle. All Eddie can do is stroke Buck’s broad back, kiss the hollow behind his ear, and hold him. 

Time stands still, and the kitchen holds its breath as Eddie rocks Buck to and fro. He sways to the left, taking Buck’s weight with him, then to the right, until they’re shifting from one foot to the other in sync. A calmness descends upon him like pixie dust, and Eddie inhales deeply as the sweet scent of Buck’s clean sweat and his aftershave washes over him. It’s been so long since he last held Buck like this, too long, and his body sings with this simple contact. 

His arms tighten around Buck, and Buck’s shoulders droop as he burrows his face further into the crook of Eddie’s neck. They continue to sway on their feet. Left, right, left, right, until their steps match the tick-tock of the kitchen clock. Eddie’s eyes fall shut as he kisses the taut line of Buck’s neck, and Buck whimpers something incoherent in response. Eddie’s heart nearly stops beating at the soft, mewling sound, and his spirits soar. Finally.

The house sings a silent melody as Eddie leads Buck into a slow, swaying dance, and Buck follows like his body is made to follow. Their souls intertwine as one even as their bodies move as a single entity, and Eddie hasn’t felt this complete since the day Buck agreed to marry him. 

Buck’s still clutching Eddie in a vice grip, but his breathing is less erratic as he follows Eddie across the kitchen floor, his taller frame draped across Eddie like a weighted blanket. Their hips join the sway, and Eddie picks up the tempo as he leads Buck away from the explosion of flour and butter and chocolate shavings in the kitchen and into the living room. The tick-tock of the kitchen clock fades, but they don’t need it as their feet find a new tempo, one that resonates through their bodies on drums only they can hear. 

Warm breath tickles Eddie’s neck, and he inhales sharply when chapped lips press into the curve where his neck meets his shoulder. Buck sighs, and his body sags as if that one breath carried all the tension out of him. His steps match Eddie’s with renewed energy, and Eddie swallows the urge to cry when Buck’s back straightens, and he carries his own weight for the first time since they embraced tonight. 

Their swaying turns into something more alive, more joyous, more sensual, and before long, Eddie’s breathing hard as he takes Buck around their living room in wide steps and wild spins. Buck’s chest heaves in time with Eddie’s, and there’s a glimmer of a spark that’s reminiscent of the light that usually floods Buck’s beautiful, crystal blues. 

The silent tune grows louder, and Eddie finds himself falling even as Buck seems to take flight. They fly across the laminate floor on quiet feet, and with every gyrate of hips and every sensual step, Buck’s eyes glow a little brighter until they gloss over with bliss. His pupils dilate, the expanding inky pools swallowing the bewitching blue of his eyes until they’re glowing halos. 

His smile is soft, his expression relaxed, and his body flows like water around Eddie as he finally, finally floats in subspace. He looks so happy, and Eddie’s chest heaves for reasons beyond simply breathing. 

They dance until the house is too exhausted to sing. Dance until their feet drag across tired floors. Dance until their respective twelve-hour-shifts finally catch up with them, and they collapse on the couch in a heap of limbs and sweat-soaked skin. The thrum under Eddie’s skin is no longer jagged and raw, but soothing and electrifying, a warm buzz that tickles. 

Buck crawls into Eddie’s lap without prompting, and Eddie gathers his Submissive and fiance and lover into his arms with as much tenderness as his tired muscles can muster. The couch sags beneath them, sucking them in like a cocoon, and they sit together, their laboured breathing mingling in the inches of space between them as they soak up the swirling happiness around them. 

“You were right,” Buck whispers, his voice hoarse and still too raw for Eddie’s liking, but at least he’s talking. 

“Right about what?” Eddie asks softly. 

“The worst calls always involve kids.” Buck shudders, and Eddie’s arms grow protectively tight around him. 

“Oh,  _ cariño…” _

Buck takes another shuddering breath, and they fall into another moment of companionable silence. Eddie wants to ask, wants to draw out the incident and purge it from Buck’s mind, but he knows it doesn't work like that. That this is something Buck will have to learn to deal with on his own, no matter how much Eddie wants to shield him from the ugly side of what they do. 

Time marches on like a tireless soldier, and it becomes harder and harder to fight off the fatigue of the day. Despite it being Christmas, both Buck and Eddie have to go to work. The only silver lining is they both have the red-eye shift, so they can at least spend the day with Chris. 

And he’s so warm with Buck in his arms, so tranquil from finally having taken Buck under, and he’s just so tired. His eyes droop, and he startles awake when Buck squirms in his lap. 

“He made her flush the baby down the toilet.” Buck’s voice is so small and broken that Eddie’s not sure he heard right. 

“Come again?”

Buck looks up with big, glistening eyes, and the sight of those tears rouses Eddie from his tired haze. “The girl’s father made her flush her newborn baby down the toilet.”

Eddie sits up straight, all remnant desires for sleep gone as he stares at Buck in horror. “What the fuck?”

“The girl—the mother, she was no more than a teenager,” Buck chokes out as he swallows a sob. “And he had a collar around her neck so tightly it broke skin.” Buck’s voice breaks. His shoulders shake as he buries his face into Eddie’s chest and jagged sobs escape his trembling body. 

No wonder he was so upset. No wonder he was so angry. Eddie’s jaw aches as he grits his teeth and holds onto Buck so tightly his arms hurt. What sort of monster does that to a Sub? To his own daughter? 

“Was... were you able to save the baby?” Eddie asks, desperate for a silver lining to this nightmare. 

Buck looks up and nods, his face tear-streaked and blotchy. “Yeah. We got her out just in time. And Mom said there’s gonna be hell to pay for the asshole Dom who abused his own daughter and granddaughter like that.” He touches the braided strip of leather hanging loosely around his neck as if drawing strength from it. 

Eddie plants a kiss on Buck’s cheek. “That’s... that’s good, right? Athena will make sure the guy gets what’s coming for him.” 

Buck frowns. “I don’t know. If she ends up in the system... she and her daughter, I don’t know, Eds. I just don’t know.” 

Eddie sighs and hugs Buck close, trying and failing to draw the pain from Buck’s body even as he aches for Buck. Buck had a rough time in the foster care system, and he was one of the lucky ones who got out in one piece. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Eddie says lamely. “I wish—”

Buck presses his lips to Eddie’s, and despite how chapped they are, they’re the softest lips Eddie’s ever tasted. “Thank you for just being here. For letting me vent. For being you.”

“I—” Eddie struggles to find the right words. To say the right thing that’ll ease Buck’s pain, but nothing comes to mind because what can he say that will erase the evils of the world? “I’ll always be here for you. In our line of work, we see some of the most horrendous things a person can do to another person, but we can’t let it consume us.” 

Buck nods and takes a shuddering breath that seems to rattle his bones. “I know.”

“But there are also people out there who want to do good, to help others, and those people perform miracles every day,” Eddie says. 

“Like yanking a baby out of a poop shoot?” 

Eddie chuckles. “Yes. Like that.” Eddie cups Buck’s cheek and brushes a thumb over his damp skin. “There are people like you, Buck, who will make a difference in this world.” Buck’s eyes mist over and he averts his gaze even as his lips twitch into the barest of smiles. “You saved an innocent soul today, Buck. Take the win.”

“She’s like my own personal Christmas miracle, huh?” Buck says with a huffed breath, and when he meets Eddie’s gaze again, his eyes are shining with hope. 

It always amazes Eddie how quickly Buck bounces back. How he can feel so passionately despite everything that’s happened to him as a child and a Submissive. How he can still find the good in everything.

“Like you’re my Christmas miracle,” Eddie murmurs thickly as a lump lodges in his throat, memories of their first kiss under the mistletoe just last year threatening to overwhelm him. “Merry Christmas, Buck.”

Buck’s widening smile freezes, and a look of panic replaces the hard-fought contentment in his eyes. “Oh fuck, did I ruin the scones?”

“Huh?”

“The scones. I was making scones, then you scared the bejesus out of me and I don’t remember the—”

Eddie throws his head back and laughs, earning him a hard punch to the shoulder. “Ow,” he whines, rubbing at the sore spot. 

“It’s not funny.” Buck glares at him, but there’s no heat in his eyes. “I promised Christopher apple cheddar scones and mini raspberry chocolate tarts and I want to make sure when he wakes up that everything’s perfect for unwrapping presents.” 

“Having you here with us on Christmas morning, having both of us here, is the best present we can give him,” Eddie says. He pauses and remembers his son’s love for apple cheddar scones, and adds, “But, we should probably go finish making those scones before we get some sleep. Chris always wakes up extra early for Christmas.” 

Buck groans as he peels himself out of Eddie’s lap, then holds out a hand for Eddie. “You can sit there and look pretty and keep me awake while I finish baking.” 

It’s Eddie’s turn to glare as he takes Buck’s hand, but he can’t blame Buck for not wanting him in the kitchen. After all, he’s the guy who set the fire station’s kitchen on fire making boxed mac and cheese. 

Buck leads them back to the kitchen, but before Eddie can let go of his hand to take a seat at the dinner table, Buck turns around and presses his lips to Eddie’s in a tender kiss. 

“Merry Christmas, Eds,” he murmurs against Eddie’s lips. 

When he pulls back to look down at Eddie, there’s so much love and gratitude swimming in those sparkling blue eyes it takes Eddie’s breath away. 

“I love you,  _ cariño. _ ”

“Love you, too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Come join us on [Discord](https://discord.gg/QBgJPg3)!


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